NEWS – “without comment”
Meet Cork’s cutest detective agency – schoolgirl sleuths who can solve any mystery for 4 Euro
The Ape Agency Detective Society is ready to get to the bottom of any enigma
By: Joe O’Shea – Editor
16 APR 2021
When the Gardai (Police) can’t help you, when AC-12’s Ted Hastings won’t return your calls, there’s only one place to go for ace detective work on Leeside – the Ape Agency Detective Society.
Agents Isabel, Lola, Mar and Vega may not look like hard-bitten private investigators. But don’t let their youthful looks – or the fact that they are in Third and Fifth Class – fool you.
The girls of APE A.D.S are on call 24-hours a day, 7 days a week, to investigate mysteries and solve crimes. Except on Saturday morning when they have music and gymnastics classes.
When the schools closed and the Lockdown started to drag, the two sets of sisters, great friends who all go to Our Lady of Lourdes NS in Ballinlough – decided it was time to emulate the adventures of the favourite stories, like Harry Potter and the Murder Most Unladylike series.
And they came up with the Ape Agency Detective Society – complete with logos, website, an advertising campaign and a top-secret contact point (or gmail address) for bewildered and desperate clients to contact them.
Posters have been put up along the Marina and around Ballinlough, clients have come forward and at least one criminal – their auntie’s sneaky, snack-food snaffling dog – has been brought to justice, thanks to the dogged work and skills of the Ape Agency Detective Society.
Expertise like this does not come cheap – as the posters they have put up around their neighborhood say – “We don’t do this for free – €4 per mystery. But we are young and active and have actual Spy Gadgets (no kidding!)”.
Proud father of Isobel and Lola, Cian O’Mahoney tells Cork Beo that the girls love mystery stories and love to keep their minds and imaginations active.
“Mar and her friend Lucy had been chatting about being detectives and then the four girls got planning during Lockdown and came up with the Ape Agency Detective Society,” says Cian.
“They have made a logo, posters, have done lots of planning and have already solved a few small mysteries for people in their neighbourhood.”
Sisters Isobel and Lola and their partners-in-crime, siblings Mar and Vega, have so far solved two cases – a break-in to a car that resulted in a case of Criminal AGM – Aggravated Grocery Munching – and The Case of the Missing Marker and Scissors.
“Our auntie had a sort of break in to her car where a bag of sugar was left all over the seats,” agent Vega told Cork Beo.
“We investigated and we worked out that she had left the window open and her dog had jumped in and eaten all the shopping”.
The girls are currently involved in a big case locally, known as The Mystery of the Ladder Left on Top of the Neighbours Roof, but they say it’s just too early to make any of the details public.
“We were getting a bit bored during the lockdown and we love crime mysteries, so we thought we would set up the agency,” says Isobel.
“We can speak three languages, English, Irish and Spanish, and we have our own spy gadgets and case book. We love solving mysteries,” says her sister.
The Ape Detective Agency is not the only adventures they have been up to during lockdown. The girls live close to Mahon Golf Course and they have been collecting balls that have gone missing into nearby green areas over many years.
“We’ve got around 300 and we’re going to sell them!” says Mar.
Fun and pocket-money – it looks like the girls of the Ape Agency Detective Society have at least solved the mystery of having fun during the lockdown.
If you have a case to solve in the Ballinlough area – you can contact the girls (via their parents) at firstname.lastname@example.org